Old Phones Vs. New Phones, A Critical Review
They grow up so fast. 15 years ago, my phone was tiny chic. Over the years my Galaxy note 23 Ultra is approx. x2 size my Motorola flip. Back then small was baller. No camera or video but it had a free Tetris app and a blue green screen. My first true love was blackberry though. Surprising I’m sure but one upon a day gone by, I was a broke ass mofo, and a friend gifted me my first Obama era blackberry. It had real time news, a 20mg camera and from then on, I was a sucker for the nipple mouse. It took years for me to trust the smart screen. Eventually I fell in line like all those who came before me. Nobody likes change but it’s inevitable. Isn’t it funny how sentimentally attached we get to the tech we press against our heads and store in pockets, over our hearts and near our reproductive junk. We may upgrade for new features, a better camera or memory but we never really get comfortable letting go of the past until we finally get used to the change just in time for another upgrade, better camera or more memory. The snake eats its own tail, and the world goes round and round. Some of us can never really let go. Here is the evolution of my collection. I can't get rid of these fuckers for the life of me. With every one of these old gadgets I try to power up to access old texts and voicemails, I am transported back to the days when my very life depended upon it’s functionality and battery life. Is this first phase transhumanism? By the time I'd flipped from my first Motorola to Blackberry I'd already sacrificed most of my short-term memory for a quick click to Google or askjeeves.com. Time keeps rolling on and my hard earned money isn’t going to spend itself so as I tear up the pathways of last neurosynaptic network, brain and testicular tumors be damned, I'm going to love shoving my new Galaxy note 23 Ultra into my front pants pocket like a fragile bodily organ and doom scroll away the days, until my fingers atrophy and I can no longer post nonsensical critical reviews to Instagram. 3 stars for keeping up appearances, 1 star for product design evolution.
New Phones Vs. Old Phones, ****Four Stars